Jokes 4

Joke1
A couple decide to go golfing to the best golf course in their state.While playing,the husband tells his wife to be very carefull as there were many houses along the golf course.But the stupid wife swings her club and it breaks one of the glasses of the biggest house on the course.so the husband and wife decided to go and apologize to the owner of the house.When thay reached the house the they found a glass bottle lying on the floor broken into hundreds of peices.The found an old man sitting inhis rocking chair and greeted the couple inside.he said"i am a genie and i would like to thank u for letting me free from this bottle,and i would like to grant u 2 wishes and the 3rd wish is mine.so the husband says i want a private aircraft for myself.the wife said she would like a house in every single country.the genie says for the past 200 years he has never had sex and would like to have sex with the lady.the husband agrees and the genie takes the lady up and begins having sex.then he asks the lady"how old is your husband"she replys"47"and the genie says"what a kid he still believes in genies"


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Joke2
Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.
''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?''

''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''


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Joke3
There was this guy that couldn't get laid because he had a 25-inch d***!
So one day he decides he's going to get
it shortened. He goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, listen, you gotta help me. No chicks'll sleep with me cause
I have a 25 inch d***!"


After a few minutes intense examination the doctor delivers the bad news. "Look man, I'm sorry but this d*** is so
damn huge I can't possibly redu! ce it. However, I CAN give you the location of a witch that lives in the woods
nearby that can help you out."


So off the guy goes into the woods and he finds the witch. "This is what I want you to do," she says. "Go a little
further into the woods and you'll come to a pond. There'll be a frog there that can talk. Everytime you ask the
frog to marry you and he says no, your d*** will decrease by five inches."

Off he goes again, into the woods until he comes across a pond and sees the frog. "Froggy," he yells, "will you
marry me?" The frog rolls his eyes and yells "NO!" The man looks at his cock and sees that it has decreased to 20
inches. Again, the man yells to the frog, "Froggy, will you marry me?" The frog rolls his eyes and goes "NO!" Now
his d*** is down to 15 inches, and he figures 10 is ideal. So once more he yells, "Froggy, will you marry me?"
The frog looks up one last time and says, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? NO! NO! NO!"


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Joke4Mississippi
A bus stops and two Asian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "I'm just telling my friend how to spell Mississippi."



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Joke5Japanese, Indonesian, & Malaysian
Once upon a time three people were stranded out at sea - A Japanese, a Malaysian and an Indonesian. The boat started leaking and if they do not act fast they would all die.

The Japanese (as usual) was the first to take the initiative. He threw all his Japanese gizmo - CD player, hi-fi, radio etc. off the boat. The Malaysian and the Indonesian looked at him in disbelief.
The Japanese said, "Don't worry.. still got a lot more in my country.. BANZAIIIEE!"

But the boat was still sinking. The Indonesian without hesitation started throwing aboard all his baju batik, kain batik, keretek, etc., etc. He comforted the other two, "Don't worry.. still have a lot more in my country, paknya".

But still the boat was sinking. The Japanese and the Indonesian looked at the Malaysian. Suddenly, without any hesitation and with stride, the Malaysian threw the Indonesian overboard. The poor guy couldn't swim and drowned. The Japanese was shocked. Said the Malaysian, "Don't worry... still got a lot more in MY country!!!".